Contrails? Jail. Cloud Seeding? Felony. Science? Optional.

From conspiracy theory to criminal code - Florida makes sky panic official policy.

Florida Attorney General James Uthmeier sent a letter on July 14, 2025, to all public-use airports in the state, putting them on notice: they must now help stop the grand global conspiracy to control the weather. Under Senate Bill 56 - signed by Governor Ron DeSantis last month - it's now a felony in Florida to release any chemical or device into the sky with the intent of modifying the weather, temperature, climate, or sunlight. The law, aimed squarely at the decades-old “chemtrail” conspiracy theory, carries penalties of up to five years in prison and $100,000 in fines.

In his memo, Uthmeier claimed Florida is under attack from “toxic particulates” being sprayed into the atmosphere and blamed recent flooding in Texas on possible cloud seeding. He instructed airports to report - monthly - any aircraft capable of geoengineering, and warned they could lose state funding if they don’t comply. The skies, he said, “belong to the people - not to private contractors, corporate experiments, or climate extremists.” Apparently, this includes Delta flight 247 and that weird cloud you saw last Tuesday.

Online reaction to the memo was swift and deeply divided. Some users on X (formerly Twitter) cheered Uthmeier’s action, demanding similar bans at the federal level. A few seemed convinced they’d personally witnessed chemical spraying, posting blurry photos of contrails with captions like “they’re doing it again.” Others asked when someone would finally force a plane to land and “expose the cargo,” as if American Airlines is trafficking barrels of mind control fog.

Critics, on the other hand, were less impressed. One user said the AG’s legal reasoning sounded like “how your aunt talks about UFOs after two glasses.” Another pointed out the lack of peer-reviewed data and accused the memo of being based on vibes, not science. Still others took aim at the rhetorical gymnastics in the letter - connecting natural disasters to shadowy weather plots with all the subtlety of a History Channel alien documentary.

Unfortunately, this kind of rhetoric doesn’t just live online. In May, someone actually cyberattacked a National Weather Service radar site in Shreveport, Louisiana, knocking it offline. The FBI later determined the culprits were domestic extremists who believed the radar was being used as a weather weapon. According to CNN, it wasn’t. The radar was the target - not the source - of the supposed storm manipulation. This is what happens when conspiratorial nonsense leaves the group chat and enters public policy.

Meanwhile, actual scientists and federal agencies - like the EPA, NASA, and NOAA - have said repeatedly that contrails are just water vapor and that no secret weather control programs are underway. In July, the EPA released a fresh fact sheet debunking chemtrail claims yet again, hoping someone might listen this time.

Still, Florida’s law isn’t alone. Similar bills have popped up in Tennessee, Louisiana, and elsewhere, and Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene introduced a federal version earlier this year. If this trend continues, we may soon need a national reporting registry for crop dusters and birthday party skywriters.

Sources: The Hill, CBS12, Washington Post, Florida Phoenix, AP News, New York Post, Daily Beast, CNN.